it hardly seems appropriate to tell the OP she "failed at marriage" because her husband was abusive towards her. that puts his behavior and all the responsibility on HER. i feel strongly that abusers are the ones who need to be held responsible for their bad behavior and their choices. you could argue that the OP has poor judgment or is attracted to damaged men, but not that she "failed" at her marriage. with an abusive partner as a spouse, how could she have succeeded? next, do you actually KNOW anyone in the military. So many things have changed. or are you just spewing shit that you've read, or making generalizations from the one conversation that you've had with a meathead soldier? our government cons mostly poor and idealistic men into joining our forces- don't know or don't agree with what they've signed on for. folks in the military drink because they are bored, have so few freedoms, and have to deal with traumatic experiences, and live in fear daily. i'm not sure how you would deal with that, but people are doing the best they can. military men hook up with women while serving, (not unlike men their age who are in college or working) because they are lonely and often unable to have real relationships while serving i'm sure would like to. it can't be easy to go 4 years without any companionship or affection particularly Wives looking sex chat line when faced with the stress of serving in zones. again, most of these men are just boys ill equipped for the psychological impact of what they are doing and witnessing. lastly, i don't appreciate your hateful stereotypes about military men. while i am opposed to the military industrial complex, and sickened by and how soldiers are treated, i know that men who are serving and have served are good people with good hearts. my husband is a former and a feminist he is one of the most kind-hearted and tender people that i know. he doesn't "- guns" or think "women are inferior". he is actually very socially conscious, and years ago he believed that serving in the military would allow him to affect some social change. he now knows, that his efforts are better spent in other ways.